gta IV: advertizers

ein grosser pluspunkt der gta-games sind die diversen radiostationen. wie ihre echten brüder verfügen sie auch über werbung, allerdings für produkte und dienstleistungen, die es nicht gibt und nur in der gta-welt vorkommen. andy robinson von cvg hat sich einige aus der demo von „gta IV“ notiert:

From the people who brought you the Domestobot, we proudly present El Comercio Roboto! It’s the robot of the future… from south of the border!

Politicians may demand illegal aliens leave the country, but I want a Mexican gardener I can ogle!

El Comercio Roboto! He can mow the lawn, if you know what I mean! Comes with six different attachments!

It’s a half robot, half radioactive plant destined to take over the world. Only one 15-year-old school girl can stop it… by sleeping with it [Japanese]. Princess Robot Bubblegum and the horny radioactive plant, in all good manga stores soon!

Simon and Nigel have long dominated the art world in Europe, and now there’s an incredibly retrospective. Back in the 1970s they proved that owls were sexual, by having sex with them. Then in 1987 they went wild in America with their coffee table art book called The Anorexic Gimp in Wonderland. It’s been none stop incongruity since!

Now these middle-aged twin transsexuals are photographing themselves re-enacting famous atrocities from history dressed as gorillas! Once you see Hitler portrayed as a gorilla, it’ll explain the war in a way you never imagined. It is truly shocking!

Are you ready to live the real estate dream? Whether you’re new on the market or an old hack we’ll take your dream to the limits of prestige in a spacious loft or an outstanding penthouse! It’s a 500-square ft glass-coated box in the sky! With windows that won’t open and a doorman that masturbates in your bed while you’re at work! Only three million dollars! Only three blocks from the ghetto! Apply now!

what kind of loser journalist are you?!

You know, you make me shiver the way you look at me, like I shiver in the bath looking down at the urinal, and I say ‚man that’s a lot of men’s hair‘, and then I say ‚Maurice, you are a fat ball of testosterone – you are massive!

Eww!

Is it just me or is it just this angle?! What was she talking about? My little boy got the job done! But you know what? I’m drifting. The fact remains they are the same thing; for the working man, too much work. For the fat cat, and in your case a very thin and sexless, nicotine-stained cat, too many regulations. The working man wants spare time, spare money…

Sometimes the family wants that Italian taste without those tiny Italian portions, that’s why you should come to El Dentes – all the mama mia you can eat! It’s Italian food like you’ll never get in Italy. That’s because it’s an American theme restaurant! So the portions are huge, and the food tasteless and unhealthy. We’ve got a special linguini with Cheesy Poof sauce!

Hey, when you’re at El Dentes everyone’s like family! A hyper, macho, food-obsessed, alcoholic family just like min!

El Dentes – we’ve got more of what you love and less of what you don’t. Like more calories and fat, and a lot less taste and nutrients! That’s why it’s El Dentes! All the mama mia you can eat!

[via]

die sind jetzt nicht auf deutsch, aber das richtige gta-feeling kommt sowieso nur in der englischsprachigen original-version auf. die reihe hatte kontinuierlich nur deutsche untertitel, der rest war ja auf englisch.

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